Thirty-five dinars was all he cost

one look into his eyes and I was lost.

A mule such as he was fine and sturdy

even if I stepped in his hay-fed turdy.

I gave him away to some guy and a lady

too bad I didn't keep him to carry Xena and her baby.

I have a horse now and 'Handsome' is his name

but Tobias was my first love, not Perdicus--he's lame!

If you ever find an ass as nice as him,

don't give him away on prayer and a whim.

I miss him every night as I pine away,

Xena's good in bed but I miss his...hey!

This is the end of my little ode

to Tobias the Ass and his heart of go'd!